theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
