no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
