Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
