I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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