Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
