covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
