guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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