there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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