she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
