You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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