didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
