I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just gargled with NyQuil
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize