I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
