No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
They left me at home... I'm a liability
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
