saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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