dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
