I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
