Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
