This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
