So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He did a backflip because drugs
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