You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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