I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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