Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
