he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
