Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
