Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
