I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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