community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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