Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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