Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize