Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
