and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
