just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
