Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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