He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so let's talk penis.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
