I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
