She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
