you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
