so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
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