would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
