based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize