That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
