I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Randomize
