just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
