That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize