At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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