Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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