just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
