i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
