new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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