belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
