I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize