I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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