:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i dont even know how to be here
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
