so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
