shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
