that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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