Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
