just come out here and I will go home with you...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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