Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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