I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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