I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
