I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Damn victory sex feels great
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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